How are you feeling?
09/02/09 11:10 AM
Feelings - we all have them. Some positive and some negative. But having them doesn’t mean we know what to DO with them. Parents often ask me how to begin a discussion of feelings with their children. First, its important to remember that it is never to early to begin encouraging children to share their feelings/emotions. As many of you know, stuffing, bottling and overall not dealing with our feelings contributes to a variety of psychological and physical concerns. Often times, unresolved feelings (we especially think of “stress” in this category) will show up in the form of a tummy-ache, head-ache, and numerous other psychosomatic symptoms, or acting out behaviors. I have provided you with the link to a feelings chart that I use with students in classrooms and during individual sessions. Hopefully this will begin a dialogue between you and your child regarding emotions. Always remember that your modeling of emotional expression is an important part of your child’s understanding of feelings and emotions and will inevitably contribute to how they express themselves both at school and at home. I think that children should be exposed to their parents’ experience of a range of emotions from sadness to anger to happiness to frustration or disappointment. It doesn’t matter what emotion your are experiencing, just how you choose to express it that counts.
Helpful Tips
1. Try to use “I statements”. For example, “I feel __________ because”
2. Try to avoid blaming statements “You made me feel....” or “That made me feel....”. These only serve to reinforce helplessness in terms of not “owning” our feelings or being “out of control”.
3. Encourage other means of expression beyond verbalization. For example, drawing, playing, acting out situations. Sometimes direct questioning or contact can be too intense and often difficult for kids to respond to based on their developmental stage.
I have listed below a few good websites related to emotional expression and a link to a feelings chart that I posted (its helpful to print these off and use daily for check-ins or to begin a discussion).
Center for Social Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (provides a large variety of resources an information)
Kids Health - Dealing with Feelings - Great website with information for parents, kids and even another website for Teens!
Helpful Tips
1. Try to use “I statements”. For example, “I feel __________ because”
2. Try to avoid blaming statements “You made me feel....” or “That made me feel....”. These only serve to reinforce helplessness in terms of not “owning” our feelings or being “out of control”.
3. Encourage other means of expression beyond verbalization. For example, drawing, playing, acting out situations. Sometimes direct questioning or contact can be too intense and often difficult for kids to respond to based on their developmental stage.
I have listed below a few good websites related to emotional expression and a link to a feelings chart that I posted (its helpful to print these off and use daily for check-ins or to begin a discussion).
Center for Social Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (provides a large variety of resources an information)
Kids Health - Dealing with Feelings - Great website with information for parents, kids and even another website for Teens!
